The Thinks In My Head

withloveminusthehandles asked: Thanks. Yeah, it has to do with running. I thought I was doing so awesome. Then I realized that my so-called "fitness watch" the is supposed to record my distance is waaaayy off. So I haven't been doing near as well as I thought. So now I'm no where close to where I wanted to be distance, time, and speed wise. And my 5K is a month away. I'm just not ready now. BLEGH!

Been there. So here’s a thing: you ARE doing awesome, because you’re doing it. You’re doing better than you were, say, 3 weeks ago. Running is a process, you’re going to have kick-ass days and days that you run like shite. A solution that I’ve found: Find a place that you know is one mile. Run it. ONCE. Time yourself with a WATCH. No fancy gizmodo. It may or may not be your baseline, it’s just how you ran TODAY. Do 2-3 runs in a week, whatever program you’re on, run how you would. A few days after that, run that mile. ONCE. With WATCH. Compare. Rinse. Repeat. After many weeks, really look at that list you’ve compiled. *jazz hands!!*

I’ve found that gizmos are misleading, inaccurate, and give me false expectations. I’m running to run, to get better at running, and to be a runner. And to lose weight. My first 5k time? Eh. Not great. BUT: It’s better that never having done it. I ran it on a broken leg. Also not great. (Pf…ff… duh) BUT: I over-trained, ran with shit form because I pushed myself too far, and then couldn’t run for 5 months. Slow building SUCKS BALLS but it’s the right way. You’ll be ready. You will be as ready as you can be. That’s why in a few months (yes, few months…) you’ll be doing another 5k. And doing it better than your first. It’s OK to get discouraged, it happens to everyone. It’s like learning a language. You can’t take 3 lessons and be fluent. You can’t take 6 months of lessons and be fluent. You’ll be WAY better… Yeah? 

I’ve been running for well over a year. I’ve done TWO 5ks, only one of which I’ve actually been able to run. Wah, wah. I had expectations that I would be doing 10ks, lost 50 pounds, and training for a half. That’s my husband’s story. I’m so proud of him! But I am where I am because I went too fast and focused on the wrong goals. Learn from me!!! Slow and steady wins the race!!!

You are doing awesome. How do I know? Because it’s obvious that you care. :) Can you look into a running coach? Not for eternity, just to get some hints, have them look at your form, give you their recommendations… It’s the BEST running and health investment I’ve ever made. I can’t afford many sessions at once. But she gives me a calendar (with what I thought was originally a disappointing running schedule, but now I know why… ) and we email my results and build off it. I haven’t re-injured my leg (a little important) and I’m running better than ever (most important). Wait. Nope, not gonna change that order. :)

As a side note, completely unrelated, sorry… I have to leave the room for a minute because my dog just farted and I’m going to suffocate. 

It’s probably my cue to shut up now. I can’t answer half-assed, I prefer novels. Sorry. Glad P&S me, now!!! :)

withloveminusthehandles asked: We are like the same person. I ordered that today, but it won't be in for at least a week. I'm just trying to figure out what to do until then. Was it worth the $23?

ohmygod. I can’t imagine life without it!!!! If I’m afraid mine’s gonna get wet because of rain or snow, I put a little Glad Press & Seal over it. Hey… Maybe that solves the baggie booby problem for the next few days? Wrap your gizmo in Press & Seal, you can cut a teeny slit for the headphonage. Glad Press & Seal is amazing shit. This answer brought to you by Glad Press & Seal. 8*

There will be cussing. Those who do not like cussing, please skip over this post.

FUCKing 2 pairs of pants ripped this morning. Too fat. Even though nothing is staying in my body and I have no energy to exercise, one would think that since calories evacuate my body in 10 seconds flat that I WOULDNT HAVE GAINED 5 POUNDS LAST WEEK. FUCK.

I’m mentally stoked for a run. Until I move, then I’m reminded that I spent 6-ish hours in the yard yesterday. OWWWWWW. Every time I think a run is a good idea, I wonder if my hamstrings will detach themselves and limp away to hide under the bed.

Homemade frozen lunch packets, Take Two

I’m about to go to the store to get two weeks worth of homemade frozen lite lunch supplies. Get ready, vacuum sealer, you’re about to be abused!!!! 

I should make room in the freezer first, I suppose…

Apple Chile Pie

At 10:00 at night? Good timing, me. I’m hoping it will be epic. Also, I’m hoping that I start feeling better soon so I can get back to running. I’m all the way back up to my start weight after my stress fracture and subsequent near-fear of running. So this morning when I found out, what did I do? Cried. Beat myself up in my head. It would have been funnier if I beat myself up physically a-la Liar Liar, but on the highway on the way to a trade show is not such a good plan. So. Square 1. Day 1 of C25k AGAIN. *mumbles cuss words* Maybe if I don’t break my leg this time, it will help.

So much to do. So much procrastinating to be done.

withloveminusthehandles asked: Tell me about Warrior Dash! I want to do it in November, but this is only my second month of straight exercise, and I can't even run two miles without dying yet. I'm running my first 5K the weekend before Warrior Dash, so I know I'll be able to do the distance. I just don't want to die! Plus, I'm really, really, really afraid of fire. It's one of my phobias. Strange, I know.

Good for you and your first 5k!! Good luck and MOST IMPORTANTLY have fun!! When I did my first 5k I still thought that running sucked and I was crazy for running at all, much less a 5k. And I was getting passed all over the place. But I was determined to smile the whole time, especially when it hurt. I have to say, it helped. So, smile!!!! :D

Ok. So. Warrior Dash. The single hardest physical activity I have ever paid money to do. And more FUN than any physical activity I ever paid money for. Mind you: 1.) I gained a lot of weight before because I had a stress fracture from my previous 5k. (That’s what I get for trying to be healthy, right? Thanks, body.) I had JUST started running again. In fact, my doctor told me NO running until just last week… but I got myself a form coach, learned a LOT and did it anyway. :) 2.) The Warrior Dash in Colorado was held at Copper Mountain, only 9700 feet above sea level with approximately NO oxygen. 3.) I wore the WRONG clothes. Less is better… a long t-shirt is a big NO because when you go through the mud pit you will gain 20 pounds in mud weight. 4.) I drank the night before. Not a lot, but enough. Dumb, dumb, stupid, dumb idea. Just say no.

That said, I will do it again next year. I will build more upper body strength because some of those obstacles required more than I had. I will wear comfortable clothes but less of them. Also, go to Target/Walmart and get some cheapo leggings and wear shorts (or a tutu, WonderWoman underoos, kilt… whatev) over them. The mud pit will come home with you in places you didn’t know you had. Ahem. And now, I shall address your phobia. The fire jumps. Not gonna lie, it was hot and the fire made it hotter. BUT- I was covered in mud, sweat, and water from the course so I don’t think I could have gotten burned if I tried. If I remember right, there were 3 fire lines to jump. You will be able to see parts of the course as a spectator, so watch other people for a minute. Some will fly way over the flames and others will just be able to clear the fire logs (I barely cleared the fire logs. Couldn’t jump any higher after the course.) And think of how AWESOME it’s going to be to kick that fire’s ass. :)

Mostly, if you decide to do it, go easy. It’s so fun but you HAVE to have a good attitude or you might get discouraged. If you have a friend, partner, acquaintance, or someone who will run WITH YOU, it’s so helpful. My husband could have cleared the course in 40 minutes but he stuck with me to be my cheerleader and we did it in 1 hour 10 minutes.  You’re just coming off a 5k, you’ll probably still be tired. I walked 90% of the course because I couldn’t overdo things on my leg. And I was exhausted as [insert favorite 4-letter word]. But knowing I finished the course was the best part for me. I have never been so proud of myself!

Let me know how your 5k goes! And if you decide to do the WD! If you have any questions, let me know, I’m so happy to help if I can!!